The Illusion of Glitter: A Journey from Pretense to Authenticity

All that glitters is not Gold. I learnt the meaning of this proverb very late in my life.
I grew up with a friend, Basavaraju, who claimed his family owned a giant diamond. They would keep the diamond in the centre during dinner, which provided the required light in the home. We believed Basavaraju’s words and were eager to glimpse the ‘stone’. He gave many excuses for not being able to show us the ‘diamond’. This experience was my first encounter with ‘fakes’.
I struggled to master English in my small village. Then, my uncle, the only educated engineer in our family, visited us. His fluency in English was a revelation, and I was determined to emulate him. I began flushing my limited vocabulary in front of my friends, and the response was astounding. I became a local hero overnight, basking in the newfound admiration.
I proudly carried a few English books in my school bag. I showed them to my friends during the break but would not let them touch the thick books. Because of these books, I garnered much attention from my friends. I never read any of these books. The girls in my class cast admiring glances at me, and I soon became a ‘proud peacock.’
I lost focus on my studies and started faking in other aspects. To seek attention, I would pretend that I was not well. I would volunteer to participate in school debates and elocution competitions. While I did win a few prizes, I was maturing in my faking skills. I collected classics from the ‘used bookstore’ and kept them on my bookshelf to show my interest in classic literature.
The philosopher J Krishna Murthy, popularly known as ‘JK’, arrived at this time. His approach to life was unique, and only some understood him. Everyone was talking about him, and it became a fashion to show that I understood JK and had arrived in life. I joined the bandwagon and started a collection of JK’s books. Similar was the experience with Bhagawan Rajneesh.
This faking behaviour seeped into my corporate life as well. I always looked for photo opportunities with senior leaders in the organization and well-known ‘experts’ in the field. I also developed a skill for slow walking and talking like a ‘political leader’. I quickly learnt the art of ‘smart’ communication and participation. I would be the first to make opening remarks in any meeting. I always concluded with a long-winded response using the words of the other participants. I made my team members wait endlessly for my decisions. The ‘Keep guessing’ strategy worked for me on several occasions.
Upon deep reflection, I realized that my journey began with innocence and curiosity but veered into a path of pretence. I lost sight of authenticity and genuine connections in the pursuit of appearing successful and knowledgeable. However, through introspection, I comprehended the proverb’s wisdom and made a firm decision. I returned to sincerity, humility, and authentic relationships, a decision that has since guided my path.